Push Thru It! Obligatory

As I prepared to go to my ex's nieces wedding last night, I dragged my heels despite having a pretty pair of shiny silver ones to make a graceful entrance with my ex, his girlfriend and my daughter  to greet the family I had not seen in four years.  I bought bullet proof Spanx that could have been a scuba diving suit if they were any bigger.  My gut and thighs would be invincible while my butt would have a specially designed, just right lift.  My silver necklace would gleam like the fake smile I would don for the night.  It was different going in four hours than accepting the invitation weeks ago from a member of the family I loved.   

"When we're grown ups, we have to do things that are 'obligatory'," said my friend Tricia, a vital member of my 24 hour-neuroses hotline.   "Like funerals, co-parenting, going to events with exes.  You do it because you have to, it's obligatory."  She was right and with one word, I shifted from kicking and screaming to rising above and being a grown-up.  I would envision obligatory "grown up" checkpoints at the wedding as I tucked my heartache and angst in my Spanx for the night:

• Telling his girlfriend she looked pretty, check.
• Hugging his mom that I miss so much, check.
• Greeting the family I wanted to be a part of, check. 
• Dancing with his girlfriend and my daughter, check. 
• Leaving alone and kissing my daughter goodbye for the night, check. 

Being obligatory was not easy and my heart still sank despite distracted moments on the dance floor synching my steps and soul with carefree twenty-somethings.   Obligatory helped me to detach though and buck up for the next checkpoint. Head on before I would head on to my life again with a greater sense of strength and pride.   I would cry later when I could feel supported beyond gripping nylon and breathe a sigh of relief (not just because I took my Spanx off).             

• Where could a sense of obligatory help you? 
• Where might you need to put your feelings aside to do what is right?