Like readying a house for the market, we can spend lots of energy enticing others to like, invest in or desire us. ‘For Sale’ signs that say 'I’m Gorgeous Inside' and ‘New, Reduced Price’ may beckon potential buyers to look further; however, this approach to relationships can lead us into pleasing behavior (e.g., what can I change to position myself better in order for this person to like me?) or lowering our ‘asking price’ or expectations in order to get the response we are looking for, be that love or approval.
I recently advised a friend struggling with financial woes to put a For Sale ‘As-Is’ sign in front of her house, rather than do the maneuvering, fixing and staging to get the house on the market. No overhead, caulking or backflips; just a simple expression of, “Take me as I am”.
Accept yourself ‘As-Is’. Admit your frailties and dare to risk others’ disapproval or rejection. Do the work of self-improvement and embrace your imperfections. Free yourself from trying to shape yourself to fit someone else’s expectations or what you think they want, because this behavior ultimately results in you paying the higher price when the person you are trying to please wants you to be different, etc..
Accepting yourself ‘As-Is’ means that you recognize you are a work in progress. ‘As-Is’ means you treasure the uniqueness of who you are. ‘As-is’ means truly celebrating your value, rather than lowering your asking price to fit others’ expectations.
- Whom are you trying to please?
- In what way might you be lowering your expectations?
- How can you accept yourself ‘As-Is’?
"Life is simple. It's just not easy."
Life is full of ups, downs, mishaps, and transitions - some we choose such as a move or break-up, some we find ourselves in the midst of despite our desires - a break-up, illness or death, unemployment. Transition can be a making a small shift in perspective or a "rock your world" change that can open your life to new possibilities, inner strength, improved relationships or acceptance to move on - despite the "it". If we so choose...when we "push thru it!"
While change can be necessary or even a thrill, for many it isn't easy. We react, regress, retreat (e.g. a bag of cookies or "head in the sand" retreat, not a relaxing trip to the spa) and, as we go, hopefully regroup, refocus, redefine and/or renew. While "pushy" is a put off, "push" has its place in conquering change, challenges or complacence. Push has its place in keeping it together when everything seems to be falling apart. Push has its place in working towards a different picture of what you envisioned your life would be. Push has its place in perseverance.
Push Thru It! is taking ownership.
Push Thru It! is rising to the occasion.
Push Thru It! is learning.
Push Thru It! is paving a new way - one fumbling, fearful foot in front of the other.
Push Thru It! is taking the hard and healthy route.
Push Thru It! is having faith that pushing has its payoff and committing to action.
From one "pusher" to another, this coaching advice blog provides practical guidance and steps to help you "Push Thru It!" in a healthy, meaningful way.
Where are you stuck? Where do you need a push?
