Push Thru It! You Can't Make People Play with You.

Cuddling my six-year old daughter last week, she confided her daycare woes of two girls who won't play with her despite repeated "Play with Me!" requests and offputting following them to get their time and attention.  While my heart broke and Mama Bear instincts roared, thoughtfulness and self-control took over when I said, "You can't make people play with you."   

Rolling easily off my tongue, I reflected on my own painstaking rolling over, chasing and trying too hard that preceded my quick wisdom - a long past adolescence Mom who had been too eager to please.  Perhaps, my simple words could save her from doing backflips, going along, feeling the pressure to be "on" or wearing just the right outfit and push-up bra - exhausting or desperate (and sometimes fun and perfectly okay Wonderbra maker) attempts to secure acceptance that can only come from within.  In the meantime, my girl would go to daycare on Monday equipped with resources to rival crayons, puzzles and stickers.  Selfishly, I would have peace for a day as she builds her character, one Lego at a time.             

While maturity (and maybe the law and mental insituations) poises us beyond "Play with Me!" demands, we still may try to force relationships with behaviors that temporarily please but only elicit playing along.  You can only truly play with someone when you are comfortable in your own skin, and when you both choose to do so.   And if someone doesn't choose to play with you, it becomes more their loss than yours when you accept yourself.  You also become okay playing on your own (p.s., and that's also when people want to play with you!).       

• How have you tried to make someone play with you? 
• How can you please and accept yourself? 

Thanks to Barbie Squinkies (12 in a pack!)!  They will temporarily entertain my daughter while life gently thickens her skin and deepens her heart.